Reflection and a Merry Christmas from Jaco Costa Rica

Hey Everyone,

I Just thought I would share another blog giving you all a reflection of my life it's been almost 6 months since I left home at times it all feels like a dream sometimes a bad one but for the most part a really awesome one. There is so much to be thankful for so much change in me so much joy in my heart for what the lord has done in me and where I am . I can't believe Christmas is right around the corner 4 days to be exact! So much has happened it's hard to explain in words just how I feel and just what is going on in my head as I sit here tonight and just want to cry I am not the same person I was 6 months ago. I lived in my own little world and everything was perfect or if not I pertended it was I didn't want to face reality I didn't want help I was to proud to relize that I was going through the motions and slowing dying while I pertended I was ok and everything else around me was Honestly I was falling apart I was going know where living my life without a purpose until 6 months ago when I moved to Costa Rica and my world was shaken and turned upside down where all my comforts where pulled out from under my feet where everyone i knew was no longer with me. I was stripped of all comforts and I had to fully rely on God and only him for my strength to get my through it as I applied for the Children At Risk school had I known fully what it was going to be like I may not have done it but because I went in blind folded knowing I wanted and was called to workd with children I went and stepped out in faith as I would sit in class week after week and watch the videos and do the research I honestly felt like I was putting myself through torture the whole time and i wasn't sure why every week i would reflect on the week gone by and wonder why I am here why am I putting myself through so much pain is it worth it is there a pupose behind all this I knew God had called me there so I never gave up and i started out strong and wanted to finsh strong through many talks and prayer with friends and leaders God gave me the strength to finshed stronger then I started and when I got done I knew why I had done the school. I wanted to work with children and the harder the case the better. I moved to Jaco 2 days after graduation and well ministry started right away it took some time to adapt to a differnt life style after living at a YWAM base for 3 months having your schedual planned out for you was nice but moving to Jaco started real life where I needed to set my schedual or so I thought I am not a schedal person anyways I go with the flow thats how I work and that is how it is here my life is all about relationships building,loving, and just being a friend . As it has almost been 3 months of full time ministry I have loved every minute of it I never know what will happen how my day will start or end and thats ok with me I am all about adventure and flexibilitie. It amazing me how even though I am not at all a leader well I have kinda had to step up and be one here in this ministry as the questions are ask and know one but me is around to answer them . Living on the ministry property has been a blessing and I won't trade it for anything I never know at what hour someone will call my name at the gate and wants something it's not like ok ministry is over at 6 pm sharp and starts at 2 pm no ministry here is on going yes ramp hours are 2-6 but that doesn't mean anything when kids are at the gate at 1:15 or before you can't just turn them away and say it's not 2 yet they have walked acrossed a highway to get here or farther in some cases. When I asked God to break my heart for what breaks his I didn't know at first what I was asking or how it would feel and let me tell you it's painful but so worth it when I asked God for more love for these children and youth he answered and i never new i could have so much love for all of them and funny as it may sound the harder the case of the child or youth those are the ones I am the closest with when you ask God for something don't be surprise when he answers your prayer and how he does. before coming here i never know I was intrested in working with youth but the more I do it the more I love it it's a chanllenge but also a joy. I live my life for the lord and to serve others and through just being a friend and helping out someone that brings me more joy then I could have ever imagined I feel like a mom to all of them as I can't count the times I have fed all of the youth when they all come over for a Sunday afternoon or whenever and they tell me they are how can I refused and as greatful as they are for it I won't stop. Today as I sat in ramp ministry watching as the little boys played with eachother with the nerf guns and while the older ones just chatting 2 of the boys are youth that come reguarly and are apart my church and youth group here and are my friends we hang out alot and one just comes around sometimes they they were telling the one who just comes around sometimes about the differnet people who have helped out with the ministry and how they were, they were saying how none of the rest ever fed them or anything and that all they have to say to me is that they are hungry and I feed them one of the boys was over on Sunday eating lunch and we made mini pizzas it was fun to watch the creativity come out in each one and he was telling the other boys about it and just praising me to them and it was just such a joy to me to know that they truly do appreciate all I do that they are willing to sit and talk about it to someone else. Trust me doing this is a gift that can only come from God and I have often wonder why God choose me to do it where I can see a need and help them out when others might see the same thing and not do anything about it people tell me it's a gift and not just anyone could do it, it takes a special person to do what I am doing. Everday my heart continues to be broken for the needs that Jaco faces and the thought makes me never want to leave I am thankful for the challenges God has placed in my life for bringing me to this place for allowing me to go through all the pain torture and bringing me to my lowest so I can see the needs other face so I can no longer shut my eyes and pertend the word is perfect we live in a messed up place the needs are never ending and through Christ we can make a difference I am willing and thankful to be the hands and feet for Jesus to leave my own selffish desires behind and focuse on what really matters and that is people all the things in life will pass and only what we do for Christ will count in the end lets be soul winners lets stop standing around pertending that everything is great. People need help yea we might have our own issues but when we help others it seems our issues don't seem so bad when we look at what others face we may not have the fancy things in life like the newest car or the iphone 4 but if you have a bed and a roof over your head you are blessed some people don't have that if you have a draw full of clothes u are blessed if u have parents that care for you and are there for you and will do anything for you you are truly blessed some kids have none of this they wander the streets at night hoping to find some little shelter out of the rain and as they sleep on the streets they find a pizza box cover out of the trash to put over there faces to stop some of the rain from hitting them they never know what they will eat or how they will survive or where they will sleep the nexts night if they do at all they are scared and because being scared is a form of weakness they don't show it instead they harden themself to the point where they have no feelings where they want help but don't want to ask because that is a sign of weakness as well they have to be strong because they have knowone else. They beg for their food and money ,it's truly a sad issue we are faced with and then we sit and complain because we didn't get the newest outfit or whatever it might be. It's Christmas time and the normal thing to do is to make out our wishlist. These kids only wish is for a home a loving place where they don't have to worry about what will happen nexts.I know these are some deep topics but this is my life and what I face daily children not getting to be children. So as 2011 comes to a close please during this Chirstmas season remember to pray for the children all over the world who won't be getting a christmas remember to especially pray for the Children here in Jaco the ones we work with daily they are some tough case but nothing is impossible with God .Please remember before you eat your Christmas meal to give thanks for it because there will be children who will not have the privillege of eating that day, as you sit around with all your family remember to pray for the ones who won't be the ones who have no family at all, as you open your present make sure to thank the giver and God for it because there will be children who will not be getting that oppertuntiy. I hope this gives you just an idea of what I have been thinking about and faced with day after day and what I am doing. This ministry that I am helping with is like none other before it's unique and God has blessed me with the oppertunity to help out and be of service for his kingdom in giving me so many friends to help out with and to just spill love on them everyday even though I know they can't give me anything inreturn. I pray you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Hey Everyone ,
I sorry I am not so great with sending out updates my life here in Jaco is beyond busy I never no from one minute to the nexts what will happen but I love it and wouldn´t change it for anything So much has happen I don´t know where to begin I just want to give a shout out ot my awesome God who brought me to this place of peace and and joy even when everything around me seems to be turned upside down even when so many obstacles come my way I know I can always turn to my awesome creator in times of trouble and he will pull me through . I will often catch myself question why me how come I always end up in the middle of tough situations and then I realized it is only to make me fully rely on God and go to him for my strenth and not others when so many people are against what you are doing it´s tough but God has been my stronghold through it all and I can´t thank him enough for everything he has brought me through and will continue to do so.What my week has looked like it´s been a crazy one let me tell you we have a team here from Trinty Bible College out of Tampa Florida, and they are teaching Discipleship classes Monday Tuesday and Thursday for the next 3 weeks So I have been attending those makes me feel like I am back in Dts and it is so awesome getting to dig into Gods word with all of my friends. My evenings are filled with ramp time of hanging out with over 20 youth which encludes many laughs awesome talks pictures and just getting to know eachother I love it won´t change it for the world I am so blessed to have so many friends honesty more then I have ever had in my entire life. Besides that it has been the ¨normal¨ stuff ramp minstry which yesterday I open the ramp by myself and ended up with an entire ramp full over 15 boys all went well for doing it solo ;) Thankfully I have friends you are always willing to pitch in and help where ever it needs such as helping with cleanup or rounding all the kids up at the close of the night sometimes it can be a real challenge. It´s always such a joy to serve christ ministrying to Children, some might say oh that sounds easy or can it really be that affective I mean really all they do is skate well let me tell you here is the thing about our ministry and why we do it and how we do it . Jaco is faced with many tough issues and so much intense pain that giving the children a safe place to come to and spend time hanging out is just a little glimsp of joy in their day who knows what they have been going through at home . Working with Children is a tough job and with the children we work with the reward is sometimes unseen and it´s a different feeling at the end of the day then other ministry might be. You may not feel all warm and cuddley and you may not be able to say wow that was awesome or those kids really love me no sometimes it quiet the opposite at the end of the day you might say wow I feel like those kids hate me or wow well the day was tough but I am glad we got through it or man these kids really need love and that it our desirehere at La Ola minsitry to give them a safe place to come to and feel the love of christ through us as we play with them calm them down laugh with them and just take time to observe them. As I have reflected over the time I have spend here I realize this is what I have always wanted to do and just didn´t know it I knew I wanted to work with kids but I didn´t realize this was it until I started and I love it . God continues to amaze me through out all thing he continues to provide for me. Prayer request would be for continued health and rest finances and for more love and patients hope this will help give you all an insiste to what I am doing . I iwll be sharing my testimony of my time here in Jaco when I get home and showing pictures of the children . Thank you so much for your prayers I know I couldn´t do it without them.

where is the love

Hey Everyone ,
Just another update to let you all know what has been going on in my life since my last update. So much has happened it's always hard to know where to start. I will start off with a little story and hope that I get it right a week ago Friday we decieded not to open the ramp and instead a couple people took some of the boys that we minister to surfing and while doing so one of the kids who is a homeless boy started shaking and well they ended up taking him to the clinic and found out he has dengey which is a virus from mostqutoes. we let him stay at the property until he was back on his feet a little but he is still under the weather pretty well this is just one of the many stories of what these kids face everyday he needs our prayers his name is Wnston and he is 16 years old . after 2 entense months of ministry I needed a break and i took a few days off and went to San Jose for some rest and also to go with someone for my visa run after a very refreshing 5 days of being at the base and going to Niguragua for my visa run and just hanging out with friends I came back to Jaco with a new vision and ready to face whatever comes .Sometimes it feels like I am on the front lines of the battle all alone and I have to remember that God is always here with me we are fighting and it´s a tough battle but with God on my side who can be against me. As we continue to spread the love of Christ to this place it is amazing to watch the tiny changes that take place it´s not like a bomb and it´s the small things that count. it´s seeing a Child that is so hardened to love and to be able to accept love have a smile on there face when you look at them it´s the joys of seeing the toughest kids attend church.Yesterday was our first Sunday morning service at my church and as I looked arounds over half the church was filled with children under the age of 13 and it just made me smile to think about how this town can be transformed if all of these kids continue to attend church and grow in the faith of Jesus and are healed of all there hurts I serve an amazing God who can do even this Jaco is being transforrmed one child at a time we see it all the time and I am so blessed to be apart of this ministry and to see the lord moving in this place. God continues to break my heart for what breaks his and it is amazing to live it out . Some prayer request direction for my next step as I persure coming back here for ministry nexts year finanual support and for stregth to continue on this mission God has placed me in for more love in a deeper way and for my spanish to improve . Thank you os much for your time and I pray that through my blogs you can grasp a little of what our lives here in Jaco Costa Rica look like .